An ode to the humble PB&J

Aaahhh, peanut butter and jelly. How I love thy simple yet filling presence. Thou hast brought a smile to my toddler's face yet again. We try to keep his diet varied & nutritious but toddlers know not what they should eat. He turns his nose up to a cornucopia of offerings placed with care upon his plate. He will shove said vessel away after only a nibble with a resounding, "All done!" and will refuse to be swayed.

PB&J thou hast saved me yet again. I humble myself before thy nutty goodness providing my little man with some protein for his growing body. Thy yummy fruit spread also brings him some vitamins & fiber. Thy toasty wheat bread makes him smile each time thou art presented. Thank you for bringing along some of thy companions for his nutritional benefit, as well. Sister Banana & Brother Watermelon came to our little gathering today and were heartily consumed.

PB&J how I love thee. May thou always be welcome in our home.
- A Grateful Mother

Just treading water.......

......'cuz I swear it never rains, but it pours!!!!!!! Joshua is just a little bit sick (I blame all the people at Tony's work who coochie-cooed him when we went there the other day). David is still cutting 8 teeth all at once. Tony's uncle died suddenly. We are deciding on a course of action for birth control.

The two kids not feeling well is super-fun. They go nuclear on me with no warning. I have to pick my battles carefully b/c if I attend to the wrong child first I get hit in the face with the explosion of the other. I will be so happy when David is done teething & Joshua feels better.

Tony's uncle died after having been admitted to the hospital 5 days ago for alcohol poisoning. He was in a coma the next day. They pulled the respirator after only 3 days b/c he was experiencing mulitple organ failure. He leaves behind an 11 year old daughter and an estranged wife. Tony hasn't said a lot about it, but he seems bothered by the whole leaving behind a family....especially a young child. Maybe something good can come out of this tragedy?

The issue of birth control is a hot topic right now. We need to sit down & talk. We both know we should wait. The specifics are still up in the air. More to come on that front.

Shocking revelation

I had been feeling queasy for three days. All day. Food or no food. And, no.... I am still not on birth control. I "know" I should be.... but I am gun-shy about the pill. I am still bf'ing Joshua and that means the mini-pill. It MUST be taken at the EXACT same time each day or it has a pretty decent failure rate. That is how we got David. I was on Yaz but had been switched back & forth between different pills during the 4 months leading up to getting pregnant. Why go on a pill I am pretty sure won't work worth a damn????? Than there is the idea of an IUC (like Mirena). The only trouble is that I really do want to try again for baby #3 and in less than 2 years. My OB is not comfortable implanting the IUC only to have to remove it so quickly.

Long story short...... I took a HPT and it came up negative. Here is the shocking part..... I was quite disappointed. I had already come to terms in my heart that we were, in fact, pregnant again. Even more, with all the heavy queasies I had myself convinced this was going to be our girl. I had even gone so far as to start picking names. I didn't realize all of this until I was staring at a negative result.

Now Tony is serious about getting me on some form of birth control. His response to buying a HPT was that he would "kill me" if I was pregnant again. Well, it takes two to tango, bub. If I was pregnant again I didn't do it alone! I know with house hunting & all the work these two little boys are making for me that baby #3 should wait...... but I have to admit that I am more ready than I had thought I was. So I will bide my time, but not forever!

Sleep training is leaving me exhausted

......I always thought it was supposed to result in more sleep! We have been at this for almost a full week now & it still takes two 20 minute CIO sessions, 2 full feedings, and a small rocking/lullaby time before he is down for the night. Average start time is 6 pm for bath. Average down for the night time is 9:30. Yikes. A 3 1/2 hour bedtime process is leaving me worn out.

On the upside..... David is showing some starting signs of being ready to potty train. He is getting really good about telling us if he is wet/dirty. He still gets confused sometimes and says "poop" even if he is just wet,so I know he is not fully ready. However, we have started to get him familiar with the potty & let him flush his poo which makes him grin. (Never thought I would be using potty-talk with pride.) I am not going to push him but I am hoping that this goes smoothly & quickly. He already hates a wet diaper & now we are noticing a distinct pattern to his habits. I am looking forward to only having one kid in diapers soon! Yay!!!!!!

What am I thinking????

DAY FIVE: I have no stomach for CIO. If DH were here he could do it. I would have to hide like the weakling that I am. Joshua cried for the full 20 minutes on round one. Bear in mind he nursed a full meal & had several burps plus fell asleep in my arms while eating before I was able to get him to the bassinet. Got David in bed and he only made a few peeps before going out like a light. He was soooooo ready for bed. Got Joshua & calmed him with cuddling before changing his diaper. I nursed him again after two big burps & a little spit up (I feel like a broken record) and he fell sound asleep on my arm. I jiggled him, held him upright for a burp, tickled his cheek..... all to no avail. I took him back & put him down. He slept for 30 minutes then woke up. He started with just a little bit of fussing but quickly progressed to full screams. I caved after only 5 minutes and went to get him. He burped again while I cuddled him. I rocked him gently for several minutes until he was sleepy again. I put him down drowsy & patted his tummy until he was practically asleep. He has been down for 15 minutes now & I am hoping it is for good.

The saga rolls on...

DAY FOUR: Boy will I be glad when we get past this stretch again. David entertained himself all afternoon b/c Joshua was in one of his "moods" again. Fusses if he is anywhere but in my arms on these types of days. Dinner was a success. David ate some tuna fish with his veggies tonight and practically ignored the cheese. He usually eats that first & ignores veggies & meat/fish. Hurray for variety!

Joshua cried for a full 20 minutes after round one of nursing at bedtime. I put him into the bassinet drowsy but he was screaming by the time I got out to the living room. I was able to get David bathed, into jammies, brush his teeth, read a book & sing a song in those 20 minutes, however. Went to get Joshua and changed his diaper. Cuddled & calmed him for 10 minutes & then nursed him again after 4 big, wet burps and a little spit up. Put him down drowsy again & listened to another 20 minutes of crying. Went in to get him again and cuddled him while I sang several songs. Gave him 5 minutes of cuddle time before he really looked drowsy. Put him down in the bassinet where he started to fuss again. I patted his tummy & sang three more songs. A few wimpers & he was out. Not a peep since.

I am calling tonight a victory b/c he was asleep before 8:30 despite two long CIO sessions. I am hoping tomorrow is better. Mama needs her sleep, too. I am really starting to lose it.

Not quite pulling my hair out...

DAY THREE: Boys never did nap well this afternoon which set up a medium rough stretch to dinner capped off by Joshua having 5 major spit ups before he finally fell asleep at 4:30. Dinner was a bit of a victory.....gave David veggies again but only one piece at a time tonight. I waited until I knew he had swallowed before giving him another piece. He ate three cucumber slices, two pieces of broccoli, and a green pepper slice!!! Veggie dip rocks my socks right now.

Bedtime started at 5:45 with Joshua's bath. Nursed him in two sessions until 7:15 when he finally felt totally asleep. Put him down in the crib only to have him totally wake up. He screamed like a wounded thing all through David's bath, book, & song. Went to get the little bugger after David was in bed (he fussed for exactly 5 minutes & then was asleep) and changed his diaper. Nursed him again after three large burps and cuddled him until sleeping. Back into the crib......back awake. Took him back out to the living room to rock him again. Got him dozing and took him to the bassinet this time. Back hit the mattress....eyes open & crying. I fought the urge to smother him with a pillow (thus feeling like I was an awful mother for having the urge in the first place) and walked out.

Thus began a forced CIO ("Cry-It-Out" for those not familiar with the term). I called DH to be my moral support as I waited. I hate CIO as a general method but knew in my heart that I had hit a wall tonight & needed a serious break before trying again. We mutally agreed on a 20 minute limit. By minute 12 Joshua was quiet. He picked back up again but with less intensity for about 2 minutes. Then all went silent. Not a peep and we hadn't hit the magic 20 minute mark. I guess sleep training has begun and I never intended to sleep train with this baby. Ahhhh, what is that old saying about the best of intentions???

A week in the life....

...of a "retail widow". I first heard that phrase coined by my sister-in-law. It refers to those of us who are married to men who work the crazy life known as retail sales. Tony is working the crappiest stretch of that life this week. After his ONE weekend off per month he always gets a 6 day stretch of nothing but closings. He leaves here at 1pm and doesn't get home until about 12am. One the one hand, this allows him to be home to help with breakfast, lunch, and both of David's naps. On the other hand, it leaves me alone during the "witching hour" from afternoon snack through bedtime. I know this is nothing compared to the women who have husbands that are deployed over seas......but this is my mini hell.

DAY ONE: Mini victory....his close got switched to an open. I get help at bedtime!!!

DAY TWO: David slept for an hour & a half today (Woo-hoo!!) He woke up in a mildly foul mood just as I got Joshua to sleep. I took David to our room and we cuddled on the bed and I sang silly songs while he had some juice. Then he helped me pick up his toys. Joshua woke up upset but a dry diaper & some cuddling solved that. Both boys were great the rest of the early afternoon. Joshua never did take another nap so I had to prep David's dinner with one foot on the boucy seat. Fun!

David used his carrot & cucumber slices to scoop up his veggie dip ignoring his hamburger patty. He seemed to be eating a TON of veggies until I realized he was doing his hamster routine again. Bits of food crammed into his cheek.....very little of it swallowed. I pulled away his plate & his sippy and asked him to finish chewing. He started to fuss. I told him he could spit it all out but he started to scream to get down. Long story short....I ended up digging half of his carrots out of his cheek b/c he refused to swallow or to spit. He screamed the whole time and I still don't think he really ate anything.

Joshua's bath was next. We are working on 48 hours without a poo for him at this point. He was fine for bath & nursing. No screaming tonight........ thank goodness! David decided that Joshua's feeding time was a great time to scream his head off while playing in a cardboard box. (Mommy has a headache again) Joshua finally fell asleep only to be startled awake by David shouting in his face as I tucked him into the swing.

Joshua screamed all through David's bath, book, & song. No amount of quick-fix stuff helped. Finally got David down and he only fussed for 10 minutes.....all teething fussing. Joshua then took another hour & a half to go to sleep including another feeding, a diaper change, and some cuddle time.

Only 4 more nights until Tony if off again!!!

Bad blogger mommy....

...but I have a cleaner house! I have been plugging away at every nook & cranny and finally am nearing the end of my house overhaul. My routines are getting back into place but with some changes. I find that if I leave a lot of my routine flexible I am more apt to complete it all.

For example: pre baby #2 I had to do my weekly house "blessing" in one day over the course of an hour. Now with the two kids I never get a solid hour. So I do a few tasks Monday, a few on Tuesday, & a few on Wednesday. By Wednesday evening my house has had a thorough cleaning & the little routines keep up each area until the next "blessing". I also used to wait until bedtime to set up my coffee maker for the next day. Now I do it as soon as I go in to wash dishes during the day. Sometimes that is after breakfast sometimes after lunch. I still do laundry every day.....that one is a MUST!

My focus has become the kids, with my house coming in second. So what if I don't get the dusting done on the same day I vacuum?! I look at the successes of the day measured in how happy my kids are now rather than how clean my house is. Now, I am not letting it all go out the window... no, no no! I just don't beat myself up if I have to spend the morning cuddling a baby instead of wiping my bathroom.

Hurray for victories like popsicles & bubbles or wet razzberries & tickled toes. Three cheers for the child who is giggling so hard he can hardly breathe. I am throwing a daily parade for the smiles & coos that have beaten out the rigid schedule of cleanliness I thought I had to adhere to. Now where is my gold star??? ;)

Taking Back The House

Well.....I am a contrite FLYbaby as I write this. I have let my routines slip to the wayside as I have been dealing with a fussy baby & a toddler tornado. My dust bunnies have multiplied and are now demanding benefits. My cobwebs have started a union. The scale build up in my shower heads has left me in a trickle-down meltdown. So what is a tired mommy to do???

I AM TAKING BACK THE HOUSE!!!!!!!

I am not going to set myself up for failure and aim to have it all done in a day. My routines will begin again but I am taking one room per day & giving it some "loving" (ok.... maybe not "loving"... perhaps more violent affection). I have tackled the master bath today. It is shiny top to bottom again. Tomorrow I reclaim my kitchen.

This is my quest.... to find my shiny home again and use my routines to keep it that way. Fussy baby and toddler tornado are no excuse for what I have let happen here but I refuse to look backwards. Onward we go! We will be moving before the end of the year & I want to be ready to go.

Clutter, be gone!
Dust bunnies, here is your eviction notice!
Cobwebs, your judgment day has arrived!

WHY?????? Because I am the MOMMY, that's why!!!!!!!!

It never rains.......

...but it pours.

The past several days hav been chaotic, to say the least. I wish that I could file for vacation!!!! We have been dealing with teething, falling backwards in a chair, 4 month check-up & vaccines, and a visit from a great uncle. I am tired. I am sore. I have a headache. I am ready for a break.

David is still cutting teeth. Poor kid is always chomping on his fingers but loves the popsicle remedy! He is now in a big-boy booster seat at the table & he loves it. We got him the Prince Lionheart BoosterPOD. He climbs up into it all by himself and can clip the seat buckle, too. We did run into a problem when he began pushing his feet on the table & fell backwards. He smacked his head against the wall & cried a ton. A sippy of juice while I iced his head seemed to fix things. No more tipping!

Joshua had his check-up & his vaccines. He did great but ran a temp all day after. He is 26 1/4 inches now and 14lb 9oz. No wonder he is filling out 9 month gear!! He is having a rough time in the evenings lately. He is giving the term "witching hour" a run for its money since he goes for up to 4 hours most nights. I hope it passes soon.

My mother's youngest brother came to see all of us. He has epilepsy & some mental disability so he functions on the level of a young teen. He is LOVING being a great uncle. He sends gifts to the boys but had never met them. David was leary of him at first but warmed up to him quickly. Joshua was fine for a little bit, but then had the Chernobyl of meltdowns so we had to leave early.



So that is a sampling of what has been going on. Now I would like a cold drink & someone to massage my feet & back. "Oh, Tony!!!!!!"