What am I thinking????

DAY FIVE: I have no stomach for CIO. If DH were here he could do it. I would have to hide like the weakling that I am. Joshua cried for the full 20 minutes on round one. Bear in mind he nursed a full meal & had several burps plus fell asleep in my arms while eating before I was able to get him to the bassinet. Got David in bed and he only made a few peeps before going out like a light. He was soooooo ready for bed. Got Joshua & calmed him with cuddling before changing his diaper. I nursed him again after two big burps & a little spit up (I feel like a broken record) and he fell sound asleep on my arm. I jiggled him, held him upright for a burp, tickled his cheek..... all to no avail. I took him back & put him down. He slept for 30 minutes then woke up. He started with just a little bit of fussing but quickly progressed to full screams. I caved after only 5 minutes and went to get him. He burped again while I cuddled him. I rocked him gently for several minutes until he was sleepy again. I put him down drowsy & patted his tummy until he was practically asleep. He has been down for 15 minutes now & I am hoping it is for good.